Facebook Groups That Need To Exist

  • Flunkies For The Elimination Of Awkward Office Birthday Parties
  • Peanut Allergies Are Actually A Form Of Darwinism, Duh!
  • My Cell Phone Is My Night Light
  • Metro Commuters Who Advocate Pushing Left Standers Down The Escalator
  • Blair Waldorf Versus Brenda Walsh: The Final Showdown!!!!!!
  • The Good People Of Ohio Who Support Giving Michigan To Canada
  • Has-Been Glittery Jellie Shoe Weareres
  • I’m Only On Facebook For Purposes Of Internet Stalking
  • I Used To Eat Paste And Secretly Miss It
  • Hipsters For The Eradication Of Bootie Shoes
  • I KNOW My Mom Is Hotter Than Your Mom
  • I Raved In Columbus, Ohio Sometime Between 1994 and 2001
  • The Few, The Proud, The Crocs Lovers
  • Carmen Sandiego, Waldo and Dick Cheney Are All Hiding Under My Bed
  • The Pigeons Around Farragut West Are Freakishly OK With Human Interaction
  • I Still Collect Action Figures And Secretly Act Out Battles With Them
  • Caution! I’ll Defriend You If You Send Me Another Stupid Meme/Note/Chain Letter/Green Patch Invitation
  • Facebook Pictures Are Like The Webbernet’s Version Of Beer Goggles
  • I Wish I Had Thought Of The Snuggie
  • I’m Afraid To Publicly Admit I Watch Battlestar Galactica So I Joined This Secret Group Instead
  • “Is…” Is Not An Appropriate Status Message
  • Drunken Text Messages: Poetry Of The 21st Century
  • I Turned Out Better Than My Third Grade Nemesis And Know It Thanks To Facebook
  • Holler! A Facebook Group For Urban White People
  • How To Use Facebook: A Tutorial For My Mom
  • Milk Duds, The Silent Killer
  • 28 Reasons Why I Defriended You
  • Drank Vodka, Puked On My Phone, But Still Don’t Need Numbers Because I’m Cool Like That!
  • Official Petition To Revoke George W. Bush’s Citizenship
  • The Ancient And Mystical Society Of Unicorn Lovers
  • Pickles – Yeah!
  • I Big Pink Puffy Heart Tetris!
  • I Am Currently Doing Kegel Exercises
  • We Weren’t Friends In High School So Stop Asking To Be My Friend In CyberSpace
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18 Responses to “Facebook Groups That Need To Exist”

  1. I-66 Says:

    Uh… How cool is “Holler! A Facebook Group For Urban White People”?

    I would join it.

    Holler!!

  2. 16paws Says:

    “I’m Only On Facebook For Purposes Of Internet Stalking”

    I can be the founder of that group….

    I’ll join.

  3. Laura Says:

    Sounds like someone is having a rough day on Facebook. Should I send you a bamboo plant to make it all better….and save the earth?

    I keel you.

  4. pithycomments Says:

    I’d like to think I was the inspiration behind the Kegel group. Wait, that didn’t come out right…

    You totally were, my shiny, brilliant star.

  5. Fiery Nuggets Says:

    Genius! Here are the ones that I would join:

    Flunkies For The Elimination Of Awkward Office Birthday Parties
    Metro Commuters Who Advocate Pushing Left Standers Down The Escalator
    Has-Been Glittery Jellie Shoe Weareres
    “Is…” Is Not An Appropriate Status Message
    How To Use Facebook: A Tutorial For My Mom
    28 Reasons Why I Defriended You
    Pickles – Yeah!
    We Weren’t Friends In High School So Stop Asking To Be My Friend In CyberSpace

    You do realize FB has a limit. You can only join 200…

  6. AnonaEsq Says:

    We Weren’t Friends In High School So Stop Asking To Be My Friend In CyberSpace

    Amen to this one. I have people wanting to be my FB friend that in high school wouldn’t have peed on me if my hair was on fire. Jackasses then, jackasses now.

    Yet, I seem to have a lot of those FB friends…

  7. Kevin Says:

    My favorite fb groups even though I’m not on fb? “NSA Employees Responsible for Data Mining All New FB Post/Meme Responses for Information to Better Control the Rabble” and the more radical “Metro Commuters Who Advocate Pushing Left Standers in Front of Oncoming Trains”

    The first one’s really my favorite.

    Yeah, except the pushing in front of trains will lead to delays and that helps nobody.

  8. LiLu Says:

    That last one? I might actually start it.

    Can I be the second in command?

  9. Laina Says:

    Okay, I’m in for:

    Peanut Allergies Are Actually A Form Of Darwinism, Duh!
    I’m Only On Facebook For Purposes Of Internet Stalking
    I Wish I Had Thought Of The Snuggie
    I Turned Out Better Than My Third Grade Nemesis And Know It Thanks To Facebook
    Official Petition To Revoke George W. Bush’s Citizenship
    We Weren’t Friends In High School So Stop Asking To Be My Friend In CyberSpace

    And I would like to ask if anyone knows where I can get a pair of glittery jelly shoes. In women’s sizes. For the step-daughter to be. Really. I promise.

    Tar-joy had them last summer…Allegedly.

  10. suz Says:

    Dude, I totally raved in Columbus between 1994 and 2001 but I wouldn’t admit it on Facebook.

    And I send the applications bit. I swear…if one more person asks me to be involved with some sort of green patch I’m going to punch someone in the motherfuckin’ head.

    LOL, but you admit it on my blog? Well, there is a much smaller audience…

  11. michelle Says:

    lol…

    blair vs brenda is fun..

    but if you created this one?

    Metro Commuters Who Advocate Pushing Left Standers Down The Escalator

    I would join… and I think a whole slew of others would join too!

    If you create it please let us know!!!

    I wonder how you create a FB group…

  12. Erin Says:

    I would enthusiastically join “Metro Commuters Who Advocate Pushing Left Standers Down The Escalator.”

    I never knew there was so much suppressed frustration towards Left Standers…

  13. Laina Says:

    I forgot the Pickles group. Totally need to be in that one, too.

    We should make t-shirts.

  14. J.M. Tewkesbury Says:

    You forgot this one: I Kick People’s Asses Cyberly Because I Am Unable to Actually Act My Age.

    LOL. I’m joining.

  15. jaywalk1 Says:

    I’m in!

    Glad I’m not the only one who noticed that something funky was going on at farragut!

    “The Pigeons Around Farragut West Are Freakishly OK With Human Interaction”

    The pigeons are the least of the funky!

  16. Stella Says:

    “We Weren’t Friends In High School So Stop Asking To Be My Friend In CyberSpace”

    Dude, seriously. Let me know when I can guest blog about this. I’m like the Emily freaking Post of Facebook. The world wide web of passive-aggressive people need me!

    Stells, if I recall, you have a blog…but I am considering some guest-posting for times of personal hiatus (ie when I go on vacation in two weeks). Let’s talk…

  17. zipcode Says:

    We Weren’t Friends In High School So Stop Asking To Be My Friend In CyberSpace – so true — I have one guy I don’t even remember who keeps sending me friend requests, dude its not going to happen, I don’t remember you.

    Great list!!!

    LOL. Reply with the list…

  18. hannah78 Says:

    “The Ancient And Mystical Society Of Unicorn Lovers”? Please tell me this is a joke and not real. Also the whole “My mom is hotter” thing is just TOO creepy!

    All are proposed. But I might be putting some up soon cause what else do I have to do?

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