The Mexican Standoff With My Cats, or The Blog Post That Crowns Me Crazy Cat Lady

It seems I have brand loyal cats that refuse to poop in anything besides Fresh Step litter. And since I just bought five bags of Tidy Cat, this is a problem.

It never occurred to me that switching brands would be a big deal. I mean, litter is just little clay bits chemically enhanced to achieve magical clumping action. What could be so different from one type to another? As long as it was changed regularly, I assumed the cats wouldn’t care. So when I noticed Tidy Cat was on sale for half the price of Fresh Step, I stocked up. These are tough economic times and I figured cheap litter would be the feline contribution to the Household Booze Fund Fiscal Responsibility Savings Plan.

But apparently, my pets have delicate poop sensibilities. They will not go in the damn Tidy Cat. And by not go, I mean the two of them stand in front of the closet where the litter box is stashed, all, “Holy Moses, you expect us to go in that? It’s one step above generic. It’s like the Payless of the litter world. This is not a knockoff household!” Hours pass and they stand vigilantly. The darn things have got the tenacity of Norma Rae, but even more righteous because their poo facilities are at stake. And just to prove their dedication to The Cause, when the cats can’t hold it any more, they tinkle and turd DIRECTLY OUTSIDE THE CLOSET. ON THE WHITE CARPET. It’s the feline version of giving me The Bird.

So this is where the Mexican Standoff part comes in. Because I insist on using that Tidy Cat. I totally understand why, during my formative years, my mom adopted the mantra, “Your (fill in the blank) is perfectly fine. I paid good money for that and you’re going to use it. So? Deal.” Yup. I’ve become the economic version of my mother. Except over cat litter and not hot pink stirrup pants. As far as I know, the Tidy Cat gets the job done and is perfectly acceptable for feline bums to utilize. There’s nothing wrong with it per se. My particular pair are just brand snobs. Well, life’s tough kittens, and we don’t always get the hot pink stirrup pants designer litter we want.

As a result of this shit storm, I’ve spent the last week cleaning up cat poop and drowning my hallway in Febreeze, Lysol Anti-Bac and various smelly Glade products. Because no matter what, even if that Tidy Cat remains virginal and pee-free ‘til kingdom come, I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY MY CATS.

That is all.

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12 Responses to “The Mexican Standoff With My Cats, or The Blog Post That Crowns Me Crazy Cat Lady”

  1. pithycomments Says:

    The Nutsack and I were in a similar standoff over his dry food. Once day he woke up and decided the dry food he has been happily nomming on for YEARS just wasn’t acceptable anymore. He decided this the day after I purchased the largest bag available for his food in hopes of saving money.

    I caved and bought different brands in hopes of mixing the 2 brands together. Nope. After a month of bitter meows, keyboard attacks and the evil stare from the one good eye, I scrapped the 3 bags worth of unworthy food and bought new.

    No. Please no.

  2. restaurantrefugee Says:

    So disturbing on so many levels, perhaps most especially that you are in epic battle with your cats over their blatant disregard for your booze fund.

    I don’t want to compromise the boozin’. Even if it means I have to clean up cat nuggets for the next 10 years.

  3. lacochran Says:

    “I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY MY CATS”

    Isn’t this what did Napoleon in?

    I’m pretty sure.

    Consider picking one of the little dears up and *putting* it in the box on the litter. Perhaps it will get the hint. Cat litters smell different; maybe they’re confused?

    Besides, you told them you want “tidy cats” not “poopy cats”. Mixed messages.

    Tried that on numerous occasions. You’d have thought I was placing them on a lava field. I also tried mixing Fresh Step in with the Tidy Cat to, you know, ease the transition. Nope. They’re too smart for that. Sigh.

  4. J.M. Tewkesbury Says:

    Cats. Ugh. Don’t get me started. (Note voluminous entries on my blog under the tag “Dirty Bastard Cat.”)

    I hate to tell you this, Kate, dear, but you will be defeated by the cats. Fur realz.

    *hands over ears* Lalalalalalalalalallalalalalalalalalalalalala. I can’t hear you! Also, puns. Love.

  5. Brett Says:

    HAHA I love the post in full. We shall never surrender!

    Never.

  6. Melissa Says:

    My husband has been trying for a month to get the puppy to pee in the sand pit in the yard he created specifically for this purpose. She will only use the fancy landscaping gravel out there. She doesn’t like to get her feet wet. The big dog will only go on the lawn. They refuse to give in. Steam comes out of his ears. Hillarity ensues.

    I’m with J.M. The cats will win. But in the meantime, nothing gets animal pee out of white carpet like Nature’s Miracle. I worship it.

    Gah! Anybody want to trade from Tidy Cat for some Fresh Step? Or better yet, two cats free to a good Fresh Steppin’ home!

  7. LiLu Says:

    I knew you were jealous of my hot pink stirrup pants. Next you’ll be crimping that red hair…

    Must find crimper!

  8. The Mexican Standoff With My Cats, or The Blog Post That Crowns Me Crazy Cat Lady | Cat, Kitten and Feline Information Blog Says:

    […] The rest is here: The Mexican Standoff With My Cats, or The Blog Post That Crowns Me Crazy Cat Lady […]

  9. Gilahi Says:

    It would appear to me that the obvious thing to do is to sprinkle Tidy Cat directlly in front of your closet. The cats will stop going there, right? In fact, since you have 5 bags, you might just consider Tidy Catting the entire apartment. The little vermin will either go somewhere or explode.

    LOL. Then I’ll really be the crazy cat lady.

  10. Maxie Says:

    You should just get a little bit of fresh step and put a thin layer over the tidy cat– do you think that would trick them?

    I tried that, but they didn’t go for it unfortunately. Stupid cats are smarter than they look.

  11. suz Says:

    Damn, yr cats are bitches.

    I know, right?

  12. areyoureallyalawyer Says:

    May be you should give in. Donate the Tidy Cat to a shelter, write it off on your taxes and buy the Fresh Step.

    Or a craigslist swap!

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