Standing In Front Of The Frigidaire

Me (in one of those can’t-be-reasoned-with special Girl Moods): You do realize it’s the 20th?

eCrush (genuinely curious, because so far, he’s the only one who has shown an interest in anniversaries and such): What happens on the 20th?

Me (incredulous that he does not know): This milk expires.

eCrush (aware that this is some form of Relationship Land Mine he has unintentionally stepped on and consequently unsure how to proceed): Uhhhh…

Me (continuing the rant): And I buy this milk for you.

eCrush (hunker down or run? hunker down or run?): Uhhh… And I appreciate it?

Me (annoyed that he’s thinking like a Stupid Boy and not getting the obvious point): Milk is expensive these days. And I can’t drink this milk. I’m lactose intolerant and have my own milk.

eCrush (knowing he must say something, but dear God, what?): Uhhhh…

Me (a big ball of aggravation): And this is the third container IN A ROW that has NOT BEEN OPENED and I’ve had to throw away because it’s expired.

eCrush (oozing trepidation): So, um, yeah. What am I supposed to do about it?

Me (whipping off the ring and handing it over): Chug.


11 Responses to “Standing In Front Of The Frigidaire”

  1. suz Says:

    Make him buy his own damn milk.

    That would be logical. But when am I logical?

  2. J.M. Tewkesbury Says:

    Hm. In our house, I’m the same way. The worst part, though? I buy that organic milk stuff, which costs like 500 gazillion dollars for 1/2 a gallon, because regular non-organic milk is crap. Despite the better flavor and the highway robbery price, I still waste more than I drink. Why can’t milk be sold in 8 oz bottles?!

    No kidding. And if they are doing 8 oz bottles, they need to do the lactose kind, too.

  3. LiLu Says:

    Suz, you took the words out of my mouth, dahling.

  4. Stella Says:

    For reals…are you his mother??

    Sometimes I think so…

  5. Gilahi Says:

    So…. Who’s enabling who here? If this is the third time, then that’s probably one time too many. HE asks, “what am I supposed to do about it”? At the very most, he’s supposed to suggest that you not buy him any more milk.

  6. lacochran Says:

    I’ll go all of you one further. Why isn’t he buying you milk (lactose-free, of course)?

    You and G and your relationship wisdom…And yeah, why isn’t he buying me milk?

  7. Zandria Says:

    Wow…you rule that household with an iron fist, I see! 🙂

  8. sofarleft Says:

    Remember those tiny little milks that we used to get in elementary school? There was regular or chocolate, and the milk lady would bring a crate full right in to the classroom. That is the perfect size for milk! Now you can only buy whipping cream in that size. Perhaps I should switch to whipping cream on my vanilla almond cereal…yum!

    It’s one way to spiff up your Wheaties!

  9. Laina Says:

    Honey, you do know that the milk doesn’t necessarily spoil on the “expiration” date, right? That’s the SELL BY date usually. If you crack it open and it doesn’t smell funny, it’s still good, no matter what the date says. 😉

    Sell by or expiration. Makes no difference. It still wasn’t opened.

  10. Thomas Says:

    Buy his own milk? Too “Joy Luck Club.”


  11. Doug Says:

    I would be lying if I said I was not guilty of this heinous crime myself. My refrigerator is where half-gallons of milk go to die, and eventually separate into 624 different layers before I decide that it’s time to throw them out.

    Those 624 layers are exactly what I try to avoid in my obsessive date-consciousness. Did you read this, Laina?

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