A Random Collection Of Thoughts Which Have No Correlation To Each Other

It’s highly possible I will trade sexual favors for a few Inauguration tickets.

Hypothetically, if you are on a lunch date and think that popping sound was your dress, you might want to think long and hard before standing up.

I still love Britney Spears.

How many times do I have to explain that my cult following could kick your cult following’s ass? And yes, that includes if mine have their hands tied behind their backs and yours have machetes.

O-H!

Diet Coke does not balance out Rolos. But it does balance out two chocolate chip cookies.

Impulsive at-home leg waxing never ends well.

Last night I spent 25 minutes sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial debating if the exclamation point or the semicolon was the most underappreciated form of punctuation.

Sometimes you just have to accept people, no matter who they voted for or how much they ridicule your pink Crocs.

The weather man lied. Today is nowhere near 80.

Styrofoam cups change the taste of Two Buck Chuck.

When you start a conversation with, “I think I did something bad,” and your best friend immediately asks, “With hair dye?” chances are, she knows you better than your mom.

Sometimes I feel like I am totally doing Life wrong.

I am incapable of putting on mascara with my mouth closed.

I’m a fan of mullets, mullagatawny and mulligans.

Advertisements

3 Responses to “A Random Collection Of Thoughts Which Have No Correlation To Each Other”

  1. Melissa Says:

    I will now tell you all I know about getting tickets to inauguration. They give them to big donors and GIs. That’s right. Flirt with a young guy with a crew cut at a bar, get up close and personal with Obama. You’ve got a better shot if they work at the Pentagon or an office in Crystal City. Oh, or the honor guard. Look out for the real tall guys.

  2. Doug Says:

    I put on mascara for the first time this past weekend (halloween costume… long story… just work with me here)… and I totally get the open mouth thing. Somehow it just made it all easier for me.

    As an aside… why would you want to balance out rolos? They are stand-alone only food. Nothing messes with a rolo. Nothing.

  3. Herb Says:

    Does Blog Daddy need to have a little talk with you about these late night trips alone to the Lincoln Memorial?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: