Today’s Metro Lesson: I Am Invisible

I can’t figure out the ebb and flow of the Blue Line’s passenger level. Some days, it is smooshtastic and others, seats abound. My current theory is the people of Franconia-Springfield only work on odd numbered days. It’s that or every other morning, the Pentagon conscripts Blue Line riders for their top secret research into mass hypnotism (which would explain why George Bush is still in office).

Anyway, during my morning commute, the Blue was all, “Seats for everybody! And their bag! And some extras!” Unprecedentedly empty. Not-even-tourists-or-homeless empty. With my choice of seats, I grabbed the one that parallels the door. Usually I don’t take that spot, believing that it should remain empty in case the elderly or an otherwise infirm individual needs to utilize it. But the Pentagon grabbed all the elderly earlier this the morning, so wheee! for me.

I rode in solo luxury until Foggy Bottom. There, some Badly Dressed Lady boarded. With an entire train of empty seats, it made total sense for her to plop down RIGHT NEXT TO ME. I knew I should have put my bag there. Live and learn, right? As Badly Dressed got herself adjusted and settled, she lifted her mega-purse. Not unusual. Most people sit and then grab their iPod or Sudoku. But not her. Nope, Badly Dressed lifted her bag and PLACED IT DIRECELY ONTO MY LAP. That’s six shades of crazy!

At a loss but clearly not willing to be Badly Dressed’s personal bag holder, I took her purse from my lap and put it back onto hers. She glared at me.

Badly Dressed Psycho: I want to put my bag there.

Me (incredulous only begins to cover it): But I’m sitting here.

Badly Dressed Lunatic (in her best I-am-unhinged-proceed-at-your-own-risk voice): I WANT MY BAG THERE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (yeah, you could hear the exclamation points)

So obviously I moved. Sometimes, it’s not worth having a throw down on the Metro.


6 Responses to “Today’s Metro Lesson: I Am Invisible”

  1. Sarah Says:

    Only you!!!

  2. Laina Says:

    WHAT?! OH HELLS NO. Some crazy bitch screaming at me on the Metro to hold her f’ing bag would end in the “Why I’m in the back of a police cruiser” discussion from earlier in the week.

  3. LiLu Says:

    Oh my god… you are a better person than I. Or at least, more restrained. But then I’d probably be dead… bitch sounds crazy.

  4. Zandria Says:

    What???!!! Insanity! Good for you for just getting up. Definitely the safest (and sanest) strategy!

  5. Laina Says:

    Matt says you need a taser for Metro riding.

  6. laura Says:

    That is something that would only happen to you!

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