Today’s Metro Lesson: You Wanna Search My Bag? Go Right Ahead…

Dear Metro Muckity Mucks:

It has come to my attention that you are implementing random bag searches. Since nobody likes to be blown up during their morning commute, I appreciate the pathetic lame attempt at extra security. I’m confident that an 8 to 10 second search, conducted by a team of five to eight super-specially trained Metro Police, is going to catch the Big Bad among the million riders. Yup. I have faith. I mean, if Metro can keep the trains running so efficiently, this search thing is going to be cake.

Also, I would like to take this opportunity to volunteer for a bag search. You heard me, Metro. Pick me! Pick me! Because, as of tonight, I am going to be carrying around a little something just for the Metro PoPo. It’s battery operated, purple, and vibrates. Some people refer to it as The Rabbit. I think of it as my gift to the Metro Ridership.

Sincerely Yours,



One Response to “Today’s Metro Lesson: You Wanna Search My Bag? Go Right Ahead…”

  1. pithycomments Says:

    You came thisclose to owing me a new monitor after I read this post. I don’t’ really mind the searching, but I don’t ride the Metro that often, but I do heart your idea is ways that are almost illegal.

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