Who gets L Street?

eCrush works about three blocks over and one block down from The Place of Lawyerly Things. Despite our office proximity, when we dated, I never ran into him without pre-planning. But that all changed once we hit Ambiguous Relationship Status. Lately, he’s popping up all over the place. It’s like our mutual homing devices have been activated.

Initially the random run-ins weren’t a problem. After Monday’s, I figured these things were bound to happen. We frequent the same places; I’m sure some law of probability applies. While I accepted the concept, the first encounter at a cross walk was still sort of surreal; very low rent Katie and Hubbleish. On Tuesday we saw each other at Borders. I was stocking up on trashy romances; he was holding The Ex Recovery Program. Post-relationship superiority points for me! I was not resorting to self-help books, let alone being imbecilic enough to actually buy them in a store. All in all, the run-ins still weren’t bothering me much. But when we both stumbled into the same Caribou yesterday morning, things were a wee bit uncomfortable.

Me (totally in disbelief): Christ on a cracker. Not again.

eCrush (throwing up his hands in real horror): Why didn’t you go to Starbucks for your muffin? You always go to Starbucks for you muffin!

Me (havin’ none of that): Oh my God! Are you purposely trying to avoid me? Is that what’s going on?

eCrush (exasperated): It’s called giving you space.

Me (below the belt): Did your special book tell you to do that?

eCrush (loudly): It was either that or risk you ripping off my balls.

Me (never one to underestimate the value of a good eye roll): I would be justified. Now, shut up and order.

Appears we’ve run out of Polite.

Anyhoodles, this morning, I was leaving Farragut West when I happened to catch a heel in an evil sidewalk grate and went down on all fours. Sometimes my Inner Klutz doubles as the Queen of Timing. The hand that helped me up belonged to eCrush.

eCrush (with actual worry): Are you OK?

Me (mumbling): So much for superiority points.


So, in order to avoid further humiliation, I’ve decided we have to split up the town into His and Hers. eCrush can have Starbucks. All of ‘em. But that means I get everything else.

Seems perfectly fair to me.


6 Responses to “Who gets L Street?”

  1. Laina Says:

    You two are like a bad J.Lo movie.

    Honey, did you ever contemplate the possibility that there is something bigger than the two of you controlling all of this “randomness”?

  2. kjohnsonesq Says:

    Besides proximity and probability theory?

  3. Malnurtured Snay Says:

    Hey – I think that’s my Borders. Really, though, you can give him L Street: Borders’ address is actually K Street. So, technically, you’d be in the all clear going in there. Hah!

  4. Laina Says:

    Yes, besides proximity and probability theory, Bill Nye the Science Guy.

  5. suz Says:

    Maybe he’s stalking you? Haha.

    If you had the chance to do it all again…tell me…would you…could you?

  6. sn0tty Says:

    “All of the Starbucks” seems fair to me, since half of them will be shut down anyways. I like your blog–got here by way of There Might Be Blog. 🙂

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