Girl Solidarity

It seems the Anti-eCrush Boy Movement is gaining momentum. Amongst the many offers I’ve received in the last 24 hours or so:

  1. Untold offers of drinking commiseration and several of Ben & Jerry’s, cupcakes and chocolate.
  2. Fourteen offers of violence ranging from generic ass kicking to the use of “my own personal Guido — he asks no questions and he does good work.”
  3. The loan of one Honda Accord so that I can raid eCrush’s apartment, put his most beloved possessions on the street, and run them over with said Honda.
  4. Two separate offers to view Sex and the City, which is apparently the Girl Break Up movie of choice.
  5. One gChat serenade, one FaceBook iLike dedication and one YouTube link to Cold Hearted Snake by Paula Abdul.
  6. Noxious baby farts directed at eCrush.
  7. A hex.
  8. A consolatory coffee.
  9. The use of a beach house for a weekend of R&R.
  10. The use of a cabana boy for a weekend of R&R.
  11. My apparent-arsonist-in-training friend suggested we burn his apartment.
  12. Two offers to add him to the Terrorist Watch List and one of passport revocation. Remind me not to piss off people in D.C.
  13. One friend suggested she could bug his office and she would find something, anything; what did I want her to find?
  14. Vodoo dolls made from his madras pants.
  15. Several people suggested they would meet him at his gate when he returns and stone/heckle/generally harass him.
  16. Deportation.
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4 Responses to “Girl Solidarity”

  1. Lola Famous Says:

    I say we purchase a load of t-shirts that read, “Team Katherine” to wear. I can hook us up with either Kim Kardashian’s store or the Juicy Couture shop in Bev Hills and sell them there! They’ll no doubt outsell the Team Anniston and Team Jolie shirts in no time. Unless they’ve released Team Madonna and Team Ritchie apparel now too?

  2. Bruce McIntire Says:

    Hello. I was reading someone elses blog and saw you on their blogroll. Would you be interested in exchanging blog roll links? If so, feel free to email me.

    Thanks.

  3. Shannon Says:

    What a doink. I just read the “Anatomy” post, and, to me, the biggest sin wasn’t the panties or the text, it’s the way he just disappeared into the ether and expected you to figure it out on your own. Ugh…what makes a breakup hurt the most is an absence of information.

    On that note, a few of my girls were going to approach a man who ether-boy’ed me last month with exclamations like, “You may not care about our baby, but I do!” or, “The rash cleared, thank God.” If they’re up for it, I hereby put them at your disposal.

  4. Thomas Says:

    Strangely I watched the SATC movie a few days before my break-up. I don’t think that is why we broke up though.

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