Coming out of the Geek Closet

This is me, officially applying for my Geek Card. It’s been a long time coming. Over the years, I’ve been reluctant to admit that I spend a lot of time in Geekadelphia, but I think it’s time to publicly join my brethren. Heck, I already have one foot in the door. For instance, last night, when eCrush Boy and I were talking politics, I managed to use seven Geekish references to his three.


  • This is so not Sarah Palin and Her Special Destiny, retardo. (Battlestar Galactica)
  • No blasters! This is a no blaster zone! We agreed that political talk would not lead to anger. (Star Wars)
  • Yes, I am mocking your views with my monkey pants. (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
  • Are you sure that wasn’t a sexy mistake? Because it sure wasn’t an ordinary mistake. (Futurama)
  • Hey, no pulling a Crazy Ivan! (Firefly)
  • Resistance if futile. Why don’t you just suck it up and die with honor? (Deep Space Nine)
  • Clearly you are experiencing User Error. Go ahead and replace the user then press any key to continue. (general Geekery)


  • It’s arguably Obama 2.0. (general Geek Computer Speak)
  • So say we all! (Battlestar Galactica)
  • I’m just sayin’, I don’t think there’s a power in the verse that can stop it. (Firefly)

My honorable mentions:

  • Don’t anger a Fan Girl. (general Geek Advice)
  • Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! (Firefly)
  • Do not anger the vengeance demon. (Buffy)
  • Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity. (general Geek Maxim)

All day, I’ve been trying to figure out where my inner Geek came from. It’s not like I was exposed to D&D early in life. My parents are fairly normal, and I can’t find other evidence of the Geek Gene in my family history. I think it may have just crept up on me. First, there was the Geek ex-boyfriend who demanded I watch Firefly and LOVE IT! So began my love affair with the Geek Master, Joss Whedon. Then I developed a covert obsession with classic Geek Lit (the Ender’s Game series, Dune, anything by Isaac Asimov or with dragons on the cover). When Lord of the Rings came out and I considered Gandolf as a possible Halloween costume, I clearly was on my way to full fledge status. It was only a matter of time and I was in too deep to turn back.

So here I am, declaring that I secretly love the Renaissance Fair. And when I decide to move around my furniture, I’ll only do it after I have made and consulted detailed, to-scale floor plans which also take into consideration lighting and traffic patterns (well, this might really just mean that I’m anal-retentive). Like most Geeks, I also have a questionably intense relationship with my computer. Upon occasion, I’ve been known to talk to it, argue with it, and curse it when it acts up. That’s gotta be Intro to Geek Computing. I assume the next step in obtaining my Geekhood would be learning some funky computer language or buy gaming-related T-shirts, which I have no desire to do. Even I have limits. But if I’m being totally honest, I should admit that I have been weighing the pros and cons of putting Linux on my Mac. That’s like the secret password to move from normal to Geeksville.

If my Geek Worthiness is in any doubt, I should point out that I have also developed an unhealthy addiction to Diet Coke. As a result, sleep and darkness no longer hold a correlation in my life. At times I feel I’m on the verge of going Geek Vampire with my new aversion to sunlight. Over the years, I’ve been known to stay up until the wee hours working on a project, shutting everything else out, and limiting my human contact. And when it’s done, I feel like a Jedi Master. Yeah, I did just say that. Do not mock the The Force, interwebs.

But really, my Crowning Glory Moment of Geekhood came yesterday at lunch. A Lawyerly Client asked me my favorite sport, and I asked if Tetris counted. I think I need help, Obi-Wan.


7 Responses to “Coming out of the Geek Closet”

  1. michelle Says:

    “i mock you with my monkey pants!” – i loved Oz… I was sad when he left 😦

    embrace your inner Geek! those that do can rule the world!

  2. vvk Says:

    “Crazy Ivan” isn’t really just a Firefly reference… It’s a naval term:

    I first heard the term in The Hunt for Red October, which IMDB tells me came out in 1990.

  3. Malnurtured Snay Says:

    What? No Highlander references?

    I’ve got no room to talk: I once built a seven foot tall model of Hogwarts out of Lego. (I’m a geek AND I have no life).

  4. kjohnsonesq Says:

    Michelle – Oz was awesome. But not as awesome as Buffy Bot!

    VVK – What’s with Joss and the militaryish references? 5 by 5 is used by pilots and now this?

    Malnurtured – So far I’ve avoided Highlander, but give me time. I did not include my Batman or Xena references or the debate eCrush and I had last night about the merits of various superheros.

  5. MissEmEss Says:

    I’m the geek who makes references to internet jokes and then looks around to her friends: “O RLY?! Hahahaha! ….Anyone? Anyone? Just me? Okay, let me crawl back to my computer….”

  6. Dom Says:

    Prod me when you start making Monkey Island or Loom references. The hysteria experienced when sharing them with fellow uber-geeks is nothing short of exhilarating in a deeply troubling way.

  7. Chaaaarlieeeee and Thigh of the Tiger « DC is my Manhattan Says:

    […] second clip of goodness comes courtesy of SuperPretty. Much like Katherine, I too have been in the geek closet.  Granted most of the shows I geek out about have some sort of prettiness attached to it, (I […]

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