Halloween 2008: a poll

Crazy Feminist Me believes that Halloween is a time to actually exert some creativity (see: last year) and come up with a unique outfit. Throwing “sexy” in front of an occupation does not equal costume. With the possible exception being “Sexy Hazmat Person.” And maybe “Sexy Engineer for Honda.” Anyhoodles, I generally start to think about my Halloween Costume way early. Years of experience have taught me that it takes time, effort, and a fair amount of aerosol hairspray to pull together anything worthy of public viewing.

This year’s contenders:

1980s Miss America, complete with poufy skirt, big hair, and possible butt bow.

  • Pro: Tiara! Tiara! Tiara!
  • Con: I have no idea here would I find a teal dress which would be sufficiently heinous but also accommodate my Midwestern Sexy Ghetto Butt.

Roller Derby Girl, complete with short skirt, leggings, and leg warmers, bruises and a cool name that I will respond to all night. I’m thinking Ant Eater or Muscles have a nice ring.

  • Pro: Roller skates when drunk!
  • Con: Roller skates when drunk!

Sexy Abraham Lincoln, because stovepipe hats are a conversation starter.

  • Pro: Nothing says sexxxy like Honest Abe.
  • Con: My beard might get in the way of my keg stand.

Judge Judy, my new Hero of the Bench, as portrayed in my law school graduation robes and sensible pumps that scream Hillary Clinton Does Footwear.

  • Pro: A costume conducive to bathroom breaks plus I can totally rock a gavel.
  • Con: My Lawyerly Friends screaming, “Oyez! Oyez!” all night.

A Metro Employee, gussied up in Metro Outfit Splendor (bight yellow vest with spiffy reflectant Metro emblem, short-sleeve blue Metro shirt, non-breathable fabric navy/blackish pants).

  • Pro: Flame retardant pants.
  • Con: My IQ will automatically drop 20 points.

Rosie the Riviter, in high waisted jeans, a bandanna, and with some Tonka Tools tucked into a belt.

  • Pro: Inherently awesome lady figure.
  • Con: I would have to buy high wasted jeans and that’s just a little too Katie Holmes for me.


3 Responses to “Halloween 2008: a poll”

  1. AnonaEsq Says:

    If voters chose 80’s pageant queen, I believe I still have my prom dress from 1981. You may use it or any of the bridesmaid dresses I have from that era. Some even have butt bows.

  2. Laina Says:

    Anona!!! Long time no see.

  3. C. Says:

    If you decide to go the way of the pageant queen might I suggest looking for your formal ware at your local Goodwill, Salvation Army, DAV (disabled american vets), or like donated-stock only re-sell shop. 🙂

    Those places are filled with butt bowed garments.

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