Wherein I go crazy and enter a contest

Yeah, I’m not one for joining or active participation of any sort. But if there is the potential for free alcohol, I might be swayed towards mild exertion. This morning, when I was doing my very important, pre-engaging-in-actual-work internet procrastination activities, I read that Restaurant Refugee was giving away “a bottle of wine from my personal wine cellar” (and other assorted, less alcoholic things) to the winner of his Worst Date Ever Blog Contest. Second prize is also alcohol. Score.

So let’s make it official: I now have an internet crush on Restaurant Refugee for being pro-drinking, plus I like this contest. It encourages the sharing of personal pain and humiliation, which I clearly engage in with this blog. Bonus is the winner can get bombed for free. I am so submitting the time I found out he was married when we ran into his wife in a mall. The Sunday I was stood up was a close runner up, but just not on the same level of heinous. Plus, does it count as an actual Worst Date if the date-like interaction never happened?

Edited to say: Certain people are being nice to me, which I very much appreciate. Because of that, Laina’s comment and a rather satisfying lunch at SizzEx, I’ve decided to conduct a poll regarding which entry to submit. I have no idea how technology works, so this is going to be kind of unscientific. Please just leave comments about which date you think is the most awful and which ever one gets the most votes by the contest deadline will be the one I submit. Keep in mind that based on the rules, etc etc, contest submissions will be evaluated on the “overall suckitude of the date and the quality of the post.” Plus, people in DC are really articulate and have had some craptastical dates. Competition will be stiff. Choose wisely, Seven Loyal Readers…

The choices:

So, yeah, that one where he was married.

That time I was stood up.

Then there was the guy who tried to make me eat Sushi despite my allergy.

When my pantyhose went tragically awry.

I think that’s all of them. Or at least the ones I could easily find. Too bad I can’t submit a collection of entries.


20 Responses to “Wherein I go crazy and enter a contest”

  1. Laina Says:

    What about Sushi screamer guy? That one stands out in my mind.

  2. kjohnsonesq Says:

    Crap. I should have done a poll before I submitted.

    But here you go, Laina. Just for you:

  3. Jilly Bean Says:

    Ok i am going fro wasabi death for the win.

  4. kjohnsonesq Says:

    Thanks Jill. I ❤ you.

  5. Terri Says:

    Well, no show was just a sucky day and not really a date. I’m still voting for married guy. You liked him and he was a tool!

  6. Laina Says:

    I think that the married guy thing will be done more than once. You want a unique story to stand out in the crowd, kwim?

  7. kjohnsonesq Says:

    Terri: thanks for voting! Totally appreciative!

    Laina: Pick whichever one you think is best based on “overall suckitude of the date and the quality of the post.” Hugs.

  8. kjohnsonesq Says:

    Things people have said to me outside of here:

    E: Go with Pantyhose for funny, Sushi for wtf, Mr Married for serious omg, but skip stood up as it’s not actually a horrible date but horrible day story.

    J: Well, they’re all pretty good. I do like Scum Bag married guy and the Wasabi Death on a Plate date…

    Another E: I like the pantyhose one. It’s very Bridget Jones.

  9. Cindy Essell Says:

    Can you submit two? If so, I say submit both sushi guy and married guy. Both are equally heinous.

  10. Cindy Essell Says:

    Oh… if you can only pick one, I vote for sushi guy. That one shouldn’t be duplicated by anyone else!

  11. Ryann Says:

    I’m going for the pantihose…I think it’s a bit more unique. Although they all have made my bad day better and thankful I’m married and not dating anymore! BTY, guess who might be moving closing to me….Aaron and Bri (remember)!!! HA!

  12. laura Says:

    Panty hose of death by wasabi.

    Seriously, with those posts, there is no way you won’t win this contest!

  13. kjohnsonesq Says:

    From S:

    I think I like the sushi date the best. I think it is the most well written and hilarious bad date story. They are all winners (so to speak) in my book. It’s a tough call. I think the married man one is good, but it’s been done. The pantyhose story is a good contender, but the writing is at its best with the sushi story, IMO. The no-show doesn’t count!

  14. kjohnsonesq Says:

    From B:

    Although I loved the pantyhose debacle I think that if you’re entering a competition you should either go with the date where you got stood up or the date where you were with a married guy.

    From E:

    That’s a toughy about the worst date story. The married one is really pretty bad, but I think the sushi pusher is the worst. What in the world was he thinking?! That’s like saying “Go ahead, pick up that baby bear – I bet the mother won’t even mind!” What an idiot. You should be thankful that he was that way on the first date – at least you didn’t waste too much time (or too many cute outfits!) on him.

  15. Laina Says:

    Go ahead and pick up that baby bear. LMAO!

  16. kjohnsonesq Says:

    R: Katherine these are all great! I think I like the sushi one the best. It’s great!! (And by great, I mean terrible, of course.)

    A: most hysterical is, in my opinion, the pantyhose one. I did enjoy the Wasabi story, bless your heart (as my mother in law would say) but I think I liked pantyhose best.

    Good luck as you pursue your quest for a tolerable man. Jeez, I’m so glad I’m married (ha).

    S: it is a tie for sushi and the panty hose. I kinda like the panty hose one a tad better – reminds me of the dress hem in the underwear walking back to my office while my husband’s employee and boyfriend approached me, realizing I had my butt exposed to all who came behind me. It did feel a tad air conditioned – well that traveled very quickly thru the agency (DC) and I never could look the employee in the eye again.

  17. Lynn Says:

    I’d go for either Wasabi Death or Pantyhose Malfunction.

    How’s that for a comment from a total stranger? AGD stranger, but there you are.


  18. Linda Says:

    Wasabi Death.

    I’m surprised you’d actually go into the restaurant. A friend will not eat at a place that also serves seafood/shellfood. Really limits his choices.

    But then, Pantyhose is a good one to because women will understand exactly what you were going through!

  19. Me Says:

    Hmm.. tough choice.

    the pantyhose was embarrassing but not that big.

    It’s really between the jerk with the sushi or the married guy.

    I’m sorta leaning towards the married guy as i know how much it shocked you and you might as well get something usefull out of it.

  20. AnonaEsq Says:

    I vote for the married guy date even though you didn’t call me to pick you up

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