How did this turn into a date?

(Let me set the scene)

You know those days where you run out of clean undies and end up wearing gigantor, red granny panties that mysteriously appeared in your drawer eons ago? And they only see daylight because going commando is not an acceptable option at nearly-30 and laundry day has become a distant memory? Well, I was wearing the dry cleaning equivalent of those granny panties. I had also been rained earlier and consequently looked like a drowned Chihuahua. Plus, my Mondobig Purse had a baguette sticking out the back, all phallic-like, and there were other assorted groceries overflowing the confines thanks to my recent jaunt to the DuPont Whole Paycheck. Overall, I was what my grandmother would call “a picture.”

So there I was, alone in the New Rentals aisle at Blockbuster, shaking my groove thing to Conor Oberst, clutching Step It Up 2: The Streets, when something frozen fell out of my bag. I bent to pick it up and saw shoes. Boy shoes. That were shiny. I looked up.

It was eCrush Boy.

(Relevant tangent)

A few weeks back, at one of those work bitch sessions happy hours DC is famous for, a friend from The Place of Lawyerly Things decided to introduce me to his “buddy from Ohio.” He made some calls and a drink or so later, said Buddy showed up. Long story short, I knew Buddy from high school. Back in the day, he didn’t know I was alive, but I had an embarrassingly big crush on him. When Lawyerly Friend introduced him, I realized my adoration had managed to transcended 10 years and multiple state lines. My full-on crush, tinged with 16 year-old-lust, reemerged. Anyway, it seems this guy now lives in DC, does something vaguely political and Hill-ish and (surprise, surprise) he blogs about it. So, we had a few drinks, I drooled and said inane things, he gave me his blog address and a nice pat on the head. We went our separate ways. Well, he went his way, and I religiously read his blog each morning trying to find some clue to his secret-but-long-held fiery love for me. Mentally, I dubbed him eCrush Boy.

(End of relevant tangent. Recap in case you forgot where we where)

So, there I was in Blockbuster, clutching frozen peas and Step It Up 2, wet and in the middle of channeling my inner J.Lo.

eCrush Boy: Kate?

Humiliated Me: Um, yeah, um.

eCrush Boy: So, I see you’ve been inspired engage in random dancing by Step It Up 2?

Humiliated Me (wishing for the ability to articulate, but willing to settle for a slightly more intellectual and issue-relevant movie, like Stop-Loss, to be in my hands at this very moment): Um, yeah, um.

eCrush Boy (grinning in a strange way I can’t decipher): Well, you’ll have to let me know how Step It Up 2 is and if it compares to the original.

Humiliated Me: Um, yeah, um.

Then he left.

And I died.

This morning, in my email, a two liner from eCrush Boy:

Where you this cute in high school? And more importantly, do you want to grab a drink?


5 Responses to “How did this turn into a date?”

  1. Average Jane Says:

    Well, fuckin’ A! How has it taken me this long to hear about eCrush boy and this impending date?!?! I want pictures. I want details.

  2. laura Says:

    Wahoo!!! Please tell me you’re going to take him up on the offer! See, you thought you looked like “a picture,” but really, you looked awesome. And extra points that he asked you out after seeing your obsession w/ teen movies. : )

  3. kjohnsonesq Says:

    Of course I shot off a witty and whimsical, yet still flirty, response email accepting his offer. If it won’t jinx it and there is anything to talk about, I will give you an update Saturday.

    And there is nothing wrong with a crazed appreciate of teen dramas/movies. It keeps one youthful. Duh. 🙂

    And um, I did not look good. At all. This man is either 1. crazy 2. a saint 3. really into me or 4. has a thing for Step Up 2.

  4. Laina Says:


  5. E Says:

    Ok, two things. One, I’m going to have to see if I can syndicate this so I can follow along via lj (sorry, it’s where I blog and the only way I keep up with other blogs).

    Two? Fucking rock on! Am totally doing a wee victory dance for you, belatedly, from several states away.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: