Today’s Metro Lesson: I love Metro Conductors with attitude

After leaving The Place of Lawyerly Things last night, I had to make a quick trip to DuPont. Yeah, DuPont! Anyway, after I had my fun, I took the red line to Metro Center and then picked up a blue line train headed toward Franconia-Springfield. The Conductor was a hoot. He was perhaps the best Conductor I’ve ever had. In fact, he was even better than the guy who sounds like he just left the Soul Train at 8:30 a.m. weekday mornings. A sampling:

Metro Conductor: There are 18 doors, folks. Six cars, three doors each. Six times three is 18. Let’s utilize them all, if you would be so kind.

My head: Metro does Math! No way!

Metro Conductor (after the door closing announcement was used like five times): This is supposed to be Rapid Transit, people. We were doing so well up until now.

My head: Hahahahahhahahahahaha!

Metro Conductor: Please allow those exiting the train to do so in a civilized fashion. Please move to the right or left of the doors so they can exit with ease. No pushing or shoving. We can make this painless for everybody.

My head: Metro is never painless, but thanks for playing.

Metro Conductor: Passengers on the platform, please remain clear of the granite area until the cars come to a full and complete stop. We don’t want any injuries tonight. My employers do not like inquiries, I don’t like injuries, and I am sure you don’t like injuries.

My head: Gold star.

Metro Conductor: I know you are sick of me saying it, folks, but I’m going to say it anyway. This is an 18 door contraption. Let’s utilize all 18 exits and all 18 entrances. The sooner we get everybody off and reload, the sooner we can get outta here.

My head: Thanks for riding Metro.

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2 Responses to “Today’s Metro Lesson: I love Metro Conductors with attitude”

  1. Spencer Says:

    I’m liking it. I can’t wait until I have to spend a month in DC next year. Laura is going to do SO GREAT riding the metro.

  2. BabyBanana Says:

    OMG, I too LOVE Metro operators with attitude. Some riders man, the smarts escape them

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