1. Got up. Well, after I hit snooze for an hour. So much for going to work super-duper early.

2. Went to the gym. Became extra grouchy. My body is allergic to health inducing movement.

3. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

4. Went to California Pizza Kitchen for Departing Colleague’s Good Bye Lunch. Her restaurant choice, not mine. I am currently engaged in the Great Wheat Exploration. Basically, this means I am trying out things made with wheat instead of white flour. So far, I’m not a fan. Anyways, I decided to try out a pizza with a wheat crust. Stupid. There is some sort of carby-goodness that’s fundamentally missing in wheat crust pizza. Maybe it’s psychological, maybe my stomach just knows. Point is: yuck.

5. Work. Work. Work. Work. Bang head against wall. Work.

6. Leave work. Do Dance of Profound Happiness in elevator. Must reign in joy when another enters elevator on floor below mine. But that’s OK. My soul is still dancing.

7. Metro. Get continually whacked in head by really tall guy with big backpack. 

8. Go to Second Place of Work (aka Happy Work That I Do For Massive Discount And To Fulfill A-type Compulsion). Find out they’ve over scheduled due to new scheduling software error. Get to go home thanks to astute Paper, Rock, Scissors strategy.

9. Make pit stop at Whole Paycheck, er, Foods. Buy bread, cheese, wine, grapes, Gaga’s and natural mouthwash. Yeah, hippie mouthwash. Don’t judge me.

10. Make pit stop at Boccato for Pink Cilantro gelato. Sit by fountain. Water features make me need to pee.


It's pink!

It's pink!



11. Make pit stop at Crate & Barrel (aka Yuppie Heaven) for vase for Departing Colleague’s flowers. Tell Crate & Barrel lady to please wrap it in lots of tissue since it’s going on the Metro tomorrow. Apparently, this means one sheet. Her boss looks over and makes her wrap the vase in bubble wrap. Boss Lady knows the Orange Line is a rough and tumble place in the a.m. Bless her.

12. Make pit stop at Apple Store. Drool. 3G iPhone countdown has commenced.

13. Make pit stop at Olsson’s. Pick up signed copy of Chuck Palahniuk’s Snuff for a friend. Feel good for supporting local business. Feel sad to not get any Borders Rewards point things.

14. Walk. Walk. Walk. Contemplate possible art.  



15. Walk. Walk. Walk. Curse rayon. Decide to buy only cotton summer dresses from this moment on. Wonder why my $9 organic/environmentally friendly Whole Paycheck deodorant is not working.  Experience moment of clarity regarding smell and hippies.

16. Arrive at apartment building. Engage in daily banter/shameless flirtation with concierge. Do battle with temperamental mailbox. 

17. Notice Holly in 423 has a Blockbuster online envelope in my mailbox. Go visit Holly. Explain I live in 432 and likewise utilize blockbuster online. Holly snatches envelope from the stack of mail I am holding against my body and not the one outstretched in my hand.  Knock on Holly’s door. Ask her if she likes Smallville? Because that’s what she’s holding. Holly makes disparaging comment about my lowbrow movie taste. I make disparaging comment about Holly’s attitude after she closes the door.

18. Home.


One Response to “Today”

  1. Spencer Says:

    thanks for posting, because it is freaking hilarious. keep it coming.

    good job on the domain name btw

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: