DC Day Two: Apartment Shopping

It’s been two days of nothing but apartments, apartments, apartments, all over Arlington. In 48 hours, I’ve seen 15 different high rise buildings, and most of them have had multiple floor plans available to rent at multiple different price points. The higher you go, the more you pay. Good thing I don’t like heights and am cheap. Anyhoo, I’ve never realized how exhausting apartment hunting can be and how much I hate this. My brain is the consistency of the Potomac, which, by the way, some of these places claim is visible from the windows (when they did, I just smiled and nodded instead of bothering to arch my back, turning left, standing on my right foot and straining my neck 94.2 degrees to see the smidgeon of view I would be paying extra for).

Apartment shopping in DC is nothing like apartment shopping in Columbus. First, there’s a small thing I’ve had to face called cost of living adjustment. It’s about killing me. Rent in Cow Town was $640 a month. Triple that and then add a few hundred more just to round it out to a nice, even number. Then tack on random amenities fees and pet rent each month (plus the up front non-refundable pet rent that’s a couple hundred bucks) and monthly trash fees and then maybe, maybe, maybe the cost will be comparable to what I will now be paying per month here. Thank God I don’t have to pay for parking since that’s generally another hundred a month. Oh, and that grand total doesn’t include utilities. With what these places charge, couldn’t the management company throw a bone and at least provide free water or something? Or at least washer and dryers that were made after I was born?

Anyway, aside from sticker shock, I am also going to become a master of closet organization if I have any hope of fitting all of my clothes and shoes into these “walk-in closets.” Touted on every piece of literature and every website, in person, they are big enough for an anemic midget to walk into. Maybe. One woman showed me around yesterday and said she was able to fit her entire show collection into the closet with room to spare. I asked how big her collection was just as she opened the closet door. “Six pairs of shoes,” she said proudly. I knew then and there I would not take the apartment. Any place where the leasing agent bragged about a shoe “collection” of six, yes SIX, pairs of shoes, was not some where any self respecting shoe collector would be caught dead. And I am beyond shoe collector; I am a shoe whore. So, I will figure it out. I refuse to sacrifice the shoes.

There are other Very Important Considerations in my apartment hunt. Like how far do I have to haul groceries by wheelie cart and how steep are the hills I will have to climb when I go places since the area around here is particularly hill-laden. It’s like a cracked out Athens and it seems like every place I like is in the valley of a series of hills so to go anywhere I am going to have to hike Everest first. Yes, God is laughing at me. But give me a year and I’ll have killer legs. Or a heart attack.

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One Response to “DC Day Two: Apartment Shopping”

  1. me Says:

    Dude, six pairs, that’s like 12 shoes. That’s a lot.

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