Vacation! Or the public sanctioning of my sitting on my butt all day

Ha! I’m on vacation this week! And that means I don’t have to do anything. Well, besides forage for food and maybe use the potty because nature demands it. But showering remains optional and I intend to keep it so until Saturday.

Today’s agenda is action packed and will definitely contribute to the greater good of mankind. First, I plan to make a significant dent in the literary masterpiece, On the Way to the Wedding. Yeah, it’s a trashy romance. But Time Magazine calls it “Smart, funny,” so I’m totally justified in reading it. It’s the thrilling tale of Miss Hermione Watson and Gregory Bridgerton and Lady Lucinda Abernathy and the love triangle that ensues when Greg is engaged to Hermione and really loved Lucy, who is engaged to some other dude. Good times!

Later this afternoon, I will break out the oven mitts and kitten nail clippers and have a go at Bionic Kitty and Number Two’s claws. This is not a popular activity at The House of Katherine. Bionic Kitty is fat and squirmy, and has extremely sharp teeth and lock jaw, and gets her claws trimmed once a blue moon. Every time I clip her nails, I think I should be awarded the Purple Heart. I’ll come out of this with at least 18 scratch and teeth marks up and down my arms and lap and chest and she’ll get cat treats. Some thing’s not right here… Number Two isn’t as bad but she has extra fingers on each paw and thus extra nails to clip. It takes a much longer time to clip her nails because they grow funky due to her mitten paws. But, if I just give her the red rat toy to chew while I clip, she is generally all right. Sometimes we take a seventeen toe stretch and play with the giant orange boa thing before we continue.

Tonight I plan on watching Dr. McDreamy and Dr. McSteamy and drooling.

It’ll be a good day.

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