The TLP Opens for an Opening Band!

Yes, that is officially Progress. To open for an opening band at an actual bar where there is not any dolphin related paraphernalia and actual bathroom stall doors is a Big Deal. And not only that, The Toledo Luggage Problem wasn’t the first band on stage! In fact, there was an opening opening opening band.

It was an interesting evening of musical mishmash. The first band performed ’80s hairband covers. The band make-up was a bit more entertaining than the actual music (although they were pretty good). The lead singer was a guy in a leopard skin cowboy hat, a gentleman in Van Halen jersey played a guitar, and then there was a guy who looked like a brunette Farrah Fawcett head had been implanted on his neck. Overall, it was strange enough to make me wonder:
1. How did they all meet?
2. Where does one acquire a Van Halen jersey?
3. Why would anybody want one?
4. What drug made Mr. Jersey willing to be seen with Mr. Cowboy Hat and vice versa?
And that was leaving all the obvious questions about Farrah Fawcett hairdos aside…
TTLP was up next. About ten minutes before TTLP went on, all the Abersnobie and Biznich employees came out to support one of their own. It was a little strange to be unexpectedly surrounded by Beautiful and Hip People. Especially when one is not particularly hip nor beautiful, let alone can actually drink without a fake ID. Still, they were appropriately supportive of the band. I think one even expressed her undying devotion to a certain guitarist. Oh wait, maybe that was one of John’s “alternative” fans. Anyway, TTLP also debuted two original songs. While they weren’t up to the rocking-goodness of Stacy’s Mom, it was one step away from Cover Band and one step towards Rock Star Infamy.

Then there was the opening band. I had a warning of what was to come when all the A&F kiddies cleared out. After all, they are aware of all that is hip and beautiful and this band was not. Unless, of course, one wears extensive black clothing with pointy studs, likes Pantera and believes hamsters are good for sacrificing. They played heavy metal at volumes that induced inner ear bleeding. After about two minutes, I decided to spare myself and went home. Thus, I did not see the headliner. But I know that they must have had some taste to have booked TTLP somewhere in the line up… Even if it was as an opener to an opener.

Special thanks goes to the wonderful Beth Varcho, who was smart enough to bring a camera not incorporated into a telephone and kind enough to mail the pictures to me.


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