Dear Six (or am I up to seven?) Loyal Readers:
Every year, my mother sends out Christmas cards and a holiday letter. After Christmas. And I’m my mother’s daughter (except for the shoe obsession and well-documented appreciation of lemontinis). So here I am, at almost 2 a.m., with the iTunes rawkin’ and Bionic Kitty trying to eat my sock, and I’m writing my Annual Holiday Bragfest List. Get excited!
Things I’ve accomplished in 2006 that are worth telling the world about:
1. I watched the entire Dawson’s Creek Saga and even read the accompanying Dawson’s Creek Scrapbook included as a special bonus with Season Six. I am not kidding about this.
2. I kept Bionic Kitty alive despite her repeated efforts to the contrary. As an added bonus, I paid the equivalent of a small African country’s annual revenue in vet bills.
3. I moved. Twice. My father has wisely invested in U-Haul stock.
4. I acquired Number Two — the only cat in existence that rivals me in gassyness.
5. I bought 15 new pairs of shoes. (That thunking sound is my mother keeling over.)
6. I discovered I like asparagus.
7. I loved and lost and threw spitballs at his picture when it all ended badly.
8. I snaked a drain. I am Handywoman! Hear me yell in triumph because I removed the blockage!
9. I (finally) completed the Great iPod Uploading Project of 2005. That would mean 27 years of music uploaded and stored in 22 gig and it’s all on the computer, darn it. Well, except for the Kenny G album that I didn’t know I had.
10. I confirmed that the Magic 8 Ball really does know everything. It does!
11. I ate spinach in the midst of the Ecoli outbreak because I was feeling feisty.
12. I got a job after I got reorganized out of my last Lawyerly Things job. The student loan people where happy about this.
13. I discovered the wonderfulness of hair metal.
14. I sang Coppa Cabana with my best friend. In a shopping mall.
15. I fished my fish out of the toilet (with a spoon because I could not find the net) right before I was about to flush him. He appeared to be suddenly swimming and I thought that maybe he wasn’t really dead, that it was a fish miracle or that I was just mistaken and he had been resting in the fish bowl. Well, no, he was really dead and I felt like an idiot.
16. I ate at all the new Chipotles I could find and concocted a master plan to get a lot of free burritos in 2007. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, and I dressed up like a Burrito, too.
17. I sweat to the Oldies.
18. I religiously followed the Rise and Fall of K-Fed and will now be an asset to any Trivial Pursuit team which must answer Britney Spears’ love life related questions for years to come.
19. I was officially referred to as a “groupie.”
20. I made it in once piece.
All in all, a brag-worthy year.