My Ode to Ohio State Football

Yeah, I know, I didn’t go to The Ohio State University. But I’ve lived in C-bus for long enough to catch Buckeye Fever. It snuck up on me, infiltrating my soul until I learned to detest all things Azure Blue and Butt Ugly Yellow (which is passed off as Maize). Buckeye Love has even gotten me to refer to The State Up North as, well, The State Up North or The Place We Should Let the Canadians Have For Free. And that was while I lived there and had to be polite about it. Anyway, I’m an Ohio State fan and in case I’ve not made my feelings clear all ready, I pretty much think The Big House could be blown up by terrorists and it would take me a very long minute or two to realize that it might be a bad thing. And only then because we couldn’t go stomp on Michigan on their own turf… Well, maybe I’m not that extreme, but it’s close.

In case you live in a hole under a rock on the farthest reaches of Mars and were unaware, this weekend is the OSU vs. Michigan game. It’s a No. 1 vs. No. 2 match up. It’s the greatest rivalry in college football and this will determine who goes to the really big football game that is often tied into corn chips (but might not be this year, I can’t remember). On the side of Good, there is Coach Tressel (aka God in a Sweater Vest) and on the opposing side is Coach Carr (aka That Sad Sad Man). While I am sure Coach Carr is a swell gentleman who was simply led astray at a young age, I have placed my faith in the power of the sporty sweater vest. I know Carr is going to get The Laurinatis (aka some sort of funky mouth growth that seems to infect all coaches that oppose OSU this season) at some point this week and really, I just feel bad for him. It looks like it hurts.

At the place where I do lawyerly things, a misguided Michigan fan suggested that if OSU lost, perhaps all the OSU supporters at my place of work should do something appropriately humiliating. And perhaps the appropriate humiliate should consist of all of us running en masse around the outside of our complex while in the buff. Generally, I am all for nekkid time but I don’t really want to include indecent exposure on the felony/misdemeanor section of my next job application. Still, I like the idea of laying something on the line here. Thus, loyal readership (this means you, Phil, and you, Mom, and Laina and maybe the other person who reads this blog), I am open to suggestions (please put them in comments). After all, I’m not worried because WE ARE GONNA SPANK MICHIGAN.

Go Bucks!

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One Response to “My Ode to Ohio State Football”

  1. Debra Says:

    WTF? No game update? No comments of this past weekend? No praise for the UFC?

    Stop breaking your dishwasher(s) and update.

    Love!

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