Halloween Hangover

I am never going out again. After this weekend, it is clear that I am officially an old fart. I have reached the point in my life where I can no longer bounce back from a night of drinking and general debauchery, let alone two. It appears this Cinderella has visited her last ball (well, at least until next month).

This weekend’s festivities all started when my friend Kelly asked me to go to a party with her. It was at an old friend for law school’s house and I was looking forward to it. Missy always knew how to throw a party, and Kelly always knew how to enjoy one. It should have been great. But, it seems that Missy’s circle of friends has moved away from a nice mix of lesbians and women who like their male anatomy attached to a real male, to strictly all girl, all the time. While it was great to have my booty pinched and to know I was one of the hotties at the function, it was still strange. I love my lesbians, but it was like a real-life game of “which one of these things is not like the other” and I was the answer. It quickly became clear that since I was in such an uncomfortable situation with easy access to free beer, my plan of action was to drink until I didn’t care that I stuck out like a straight thumb.

When the beer could no longer provide a liquid safety net, Kelly and I figured why waste a perfectly good Friday night? Off we went to a bar. I was hoping to check out men and reaffirm my love of the testosterone-filled population. Sadly, the males in the bar were a let down. Nobody oogle-worthy. Thus, Kelly and I enacted Plan B: martinis! When Kelly dropped me off around 3 a.m., my martini-enhanced mind figured I needed to talk to people and my martini-enhanced mouth went along with it… I now need to apologize to people for long-winded drunk dials… Anyway, Saturday morning was a little rough but I was a trooper and I pushed through it. My agenda was hydration. After all, I had the Annual Rob and Laura Halloween Extravaganza to attend that evening and I needed to be ready…

Each year Rob and Laura throw a party for Halloween. It always into a night of mass drinking which results in good blackmail photos and a night spent on the couch/air mattress/floor of Rob’s closet. This year was no exception…

I decided to go as Cruella DeVille. It was a great costume since it allowed for 1. warmth when I had to wait in line at the keg (located outside) 2. ease in going to the bathroom (a lesson learned from a past year when I went as a Rubik’s Cube) and 3. I got to wear red fishnets. I have a love of any and all things fishnetish and they just don’t go well with my lawyerly wardrobe. Any excuse to wear them is a bonus.

If she doesn’t scare you, no evil thing will…
Originally uploaded by kjohnsonesq.

There was a ride array of costumes at the gathering. For instance, my friend Kelly (not the same Kelly of the lesbian party, but another one) was a Barbarian Slave Girl. Her outfit was a huge hit with the guys but sadly got a bit chilly as the evening progressed.

Cruella and the Barbarian Slave Girl
Originally uploaded by kjohnsonesq.

More fun costumes…The Miller High Life Girl and a Ghostbuster!

Laura and John
Originally uploaded by kjohnsonesq.

Johnny Walker and the Ghostbuster (drinking related costumes are very popular at this party)

John and Rob
Originally uploaded by kjohnsonesq.

At one point in the evening, for reasons unknown, Rob decided to challenge John to a bow tieing competition. Having a friend who has (and apparently wears) bow ties is another reason I’ve decided I am old. Thankfully, not all my guy friends can tie them. Well, at least John can’t, despite his valiant drunken effort.

Can you tie it in a knot, can you tie it in a bow?
Originally uploaded by kjohnsonesq.

I still think that Greg should have used his hat as a cup. Since it was the same color, I think the Beer God had pre-ordained it and I am sure Devo would have approved.

Danananana…whip it!
Originally uploaded by kjohnsonesq.

Da Keg…the source of my ills the next morning…

Da Keg
Originally uploaded by kjohnsonesq.

Chris and his accessories. As the night progressed, any and all clevage became fair game for target practice.

Chris and his gun
Originally uploaded by kjohnsonesq.

The two cowboys have a Beer Duel. Pace five steps, turn and chug. But Chris decided to warm up beforehand. If you loosen your gullet, it helps the beer flow faster, apparently.

A beer duel
Originally uploaded by kjohnsonesq.

In an effort to relive our drinking glory days (re: last year’s party), several rousing games of Flip Cup were played. Notice how sedate this group of winners is. I don’t think they got into the spirit of the game…

Flip cup winners!
Originally uploaded by kjohnsonesq.

…at least not as much as these later winners did!

More flip cup winners!
Originally uploaded by kjohnsonesq.

Yes, people did keg stands. On a pony keg. Because we are cool like that.

Somebody doing a keg stand
Originally uploaded by kjohnsonesq.

When the keg was cashed, it was time to shot gun beers. This is an involved and potentially hazardous process, especially when intoxicated, so next year I’m bringing a beer bong. Somebody needs to remind me. Phil shows he has not lost his shot gunning touch…

Phil demonstrates shot gunning a beer
Originally uploaded by kjohnsonesq.

Get some beer in us, and things get a little interesting…

Things get a little freaky
Originally uploaded by kjohnsonesq.

The end!

It’s 3 a.m. and we are tired
Originally uploaded by kjohnsonesq.


2 Responses to “Halloween Hangover”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    A great story! That handsome Rob & Laura couple needs to have parties more often!

  2. Halloween 2008: a poll « Who Invented Roses Says:

    […] Crazy Feminist Me believes that Halloween is a time to actually exert some creativity (see: last year) and come up with a unique outfit. Throwing “sexy” in front of an occupation does not equal […]

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