A Car Ride Conversation

As seen below, my friend, who I’ll refer to as Michelle, and I were both in a feisty (a.k.a. biznitchy) mood a few days back. We were going to a wedding reception for a friend and we don’t like the groom. At all.

M: How long are we staying?
K: It’s 4:02 now, it’ll take at least 20 minutes to get there, so I say we leave at 6:00.
M: Isn’t that kind of long? I thought we’d stay for maybe 45 minutes.
K: Hey, I have to make a dent in the buffet. That takes time to do properly.
M: What about Weight Watchers?
K: It does not take into account going to an event which induces stress of this magnitude. There are exceptions for unusually high-stress situations. I’m off the wagon until 6.
M: It’s only a wedding reception.
K: Where the groom is the devil’s right hand man.
M: Well, if we are taking into account what a jerk face he is, then I think you should get a weight Watchers by for the entire next week. (After a few minutes) I like your music.
K: Thanks, it’s a CD of music I only play in times of of extreme stress or mourning. Like now.
(More time passes)
M: Why didn’t somebody stop her?
K: You can’t stop a speeding train or a woman on a mission of desperation.
M: What was he thinking?
K: Did he really have a choice?
M: I guess not, after all she was stalking him.
K: If I make it to 34 and am that desperate, please pull me aside and explain about standards. And about how buying stock in vibrating things might be a good alternative. And then get me another cat.
(A few minutes later)
M: So, I didn’t know what to write in the card.
K: Yeah, it’s kind of hard to wish somebody happiness when you really want to write, “So, you married a dickhead.”
M: I know, I wanted to write, “I can refer you to a good divorce lawyer.”
K: I think we are lost. This doesn’t look right. I think we should have gotten off at Hamilton.
(After backtracking, which takes 20 extra minutes)
M: So, we still leave at 6, right?
K: Of course. Remind me again why we are going to this thing?
M: Because we are good people.
K: *snort*


2 Responses to “A Car Ride Conversation”

  1. Terri Says:

    Is this the wedding reception I think it is?

  2. Katherine Says:

    Yep, it was. And in case it wasn’t all ready clear, I am evil…

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