1. Little Brother had a run-in with a stinging insect the other day. He was innocently mowing the lawn and somehow this creature found its way to the reproductive area. Apparently, Little Brother was wounded multiple times. I think my mother’s dreams of a grandchild this decade just got that much slimmer.
2. The Toledo Luggage Problem recently received a noise violation. I guess that means they have officially obtained the status of A Real Band. Even if the median age of the group is 36 and they no longer have a curfew, this gives them enough Band Cred to be cool.
3. Today at work, when my boss called me, she identified herself as God. I don’t think that’s something I should have laughed at, but what else was I to do in the face of blatant passive-aggressive behavior?
4. Bionic Kitty likes the dishwasher. A lot. I was loading it last night and she must have snuck in when I went to go get a new box of detergent. I closed it, turned it on, and after about two seconds, I heard a sound unlike anything else ever produced on Earth. When I opened the dishwasher up, Bionic Kitty streaked out, did a lap around the kitchen and ended up hissing/spitting at the dishwasher before she hoitily-toitly sauntered off with her tail in the air.
5. On a recent conference call, our Big Big Boss was trying to motivate the masses. We were supposed to describe what our “inner-sound effect” was. It took every job-perserving instinct I had not to say “farting.”
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