Moving Chronicles: Part Two

Or, Why Living by Myself is Worth Every Penny I Pay in Rent…

1. Total and absolute control of the remote, the DVD player, and the DVR. This translates into a lot of Real World/Road Rules marathons. And E! True Hollywood Story: Britney Spears is now permanently saved on the DVR player. When it came on the day my cable was installed, I took it as a sign that God was sanctioning my move.

2. The dishwasher is loaded my way, otherwise known as the right way.

3. Nobody else is there to eat the leftover pizza that I was going to have for dinner. If I want a Freeze Pop, I know there will be cherry ones. The bag of carrots will be properly resealed to ensure continued freshness. And my super secret emergency chocolate stash doesn’t have to be hidden in an undisclosed location. It can live on the top shelf of the pantry, like a normal SSECS.

4. That toothpaste in the sink? That’s mine. It’s my mess and nobody else is gonna be disgusted by my laziness this morning.

5. On Friday, when I got home from work, I cranked Hit Me Baby One More Time on the stereo. I then proceeded to dance around the living room. Granted, I looked like I was having convulsions while holding a spatula, but nobody was there to see me except Bionic Kitty. And she’s not one to talk.

6. Per the above item, I can play Britney Spears all I want, without shame.

7. A shoe closet. I have a shoe closet. That in itself is a sign that I Have Arrived.

8. Sole, uncontested use of a tank of hot water every morning. When I get married, my husband better like cold showers, since that’s all he’s getting. Future Husband: Consider yourself warned.

9. When I fart, I don’t have to say excuse me.

10. Because it is not my parents’ house and that in itself is worth writing my rent check each month.

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