And What’s Behind Door Number Two?

Sometimes I wonder what would be different in my life if I had gone with Seemingly Innocuous Option Number Two. What if those things that seem so miniscule are really life altering acts? Would my life really be different if I said X instead of Y or if I turned right instead of going straight?

Alternate scenario number one: When I was in seventh grade, the school I was attending wasn’t appropriate. My parents gave me the decision of living with my aunt and uncle or going to British boarding school. Having seen the Little Princess once too many times, I had developed a neurotic fear of British boarding schools. So, I opted to go live with the relatives. Ultimately this decision helped determine the direction of my life for the next 15 years. But, if I had gone with boarding school, would I be dating a nice British guy, cursing with an English accent, having never driven on the correct side of the road? Perhaps, perhaps not.

Alternate scenario number two: A few years ago, there was a fantastically hot guy at a bar wearing a John Deere hat. This was in the days before John Deere became rebelliously cool. Hat Boy was so profoundly beautiful that I seriously thought about having my naughty way with him right there on the bar. I held myself back. Thinking that if he was into John Deere he would only want to talk about mud wrestling and crop rotation, I never even tried to hit on him. What if I had? Today I could be a country girl, buying shoes at the local Wal-mart and driving a Ford F-150. I might be a wealthy farmer’s wife, or I could live in the local trailer park. Either one is an option I can barely fathom.

Alternate scenario number three: Last night, as my friend was driving me back to my car, he talked about how much he was looking forward to the morning, how he sometimes just wanted it to be tomorrow. I knew exactly what he meant. I always feel that way on Christmas Eve or when I am going shoe shopping the next day. But I was too exhausted to be verbal, and so I took the easy way out, and let the conversation die. If I hadn’t, maybe we would have had a great conversation. Maybe it would have bonded us on an deep, metaphysically emotional level. Maybe we would have realized that we were soul mates, eventually gotten married, and had 2.6 children with the Bionic Kitty and a house in the burbs. Hmmmm. Doubtful.

Still, the possibilities are endless…Coulda, shoulda, woulda really is just a way of asking, “What if I had jumped his bones” or “Am I really supposed to be the next Queen of England?” Hey, I think I would look great in a tiara.

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