As far as I am concerned, there are only certain times to shop for bathing suits, undergarments, and anything that will have to be purchased in a bigger size. If my self esteem is going to be clobbered by bad lighting and 3 way views of my ass, I try limit the agony to when I am bloated (so I have a mentally acceptable excuse for the size increase) and moody (so I can have more fun with the skinny, perky Gap girls). If I need anything not on the list of Things It Sucks to Shop For, I am generally willing to supporting the local economy with a quick trip to the mall or DSW (aka Heaven).

This afternoon I decided to go out and make the retail industry a little healthier and embarked on a legitimate (re: I actually really need something) shopping mission after work. Happily I trotted off to the local mall. I walked through the parking lot and as I passed the valet by the entrance, I heard him start to snicker. It didn’t seem like a big deal so I ignored it, went inside, and perused the stores to figure out which had sales. Behind me, people kept chuckling. Sensing a theme, I looked around. No toilet paper stuck on my heels, no stray puppies following me, nada. Confused, but brushing it off, I entered a store and browsed some racks. The sales women were acting a bit overly smiley, but they always are that way thanks to the zoloft I am convinced they snort to stay annoyingly peppy. Anyway, I decided to try on some suits, walked to the dressing rooms, and entered a stall. I reached back to unzip my skirt, only to have what I am convinced was a mild heart attack. My skirt was unzipped in back. As best I could tell, it had been unzipped since my potty break on the way out of work. And not a single person had the decency to mention that my Care Bear granny panties were on display.

I don’t know what is worse: that I own Care Bear granny panties (and wear them when laundry day has been pushed back a little too long), or that all of Tuttle Mall got to see them this afternoon. And FYI, Tuttle Mall is the first place on the Places I Will No Longer Shop list.


4 Responses to “Shop-a-thon”

  1. Anonymous Says:


    Don’t ever stop blogging…you are my new favorite!

  2. Laina Says:

    I love ya, I really do, but I’m still laughing at your Care Bear granny panties. But I would have told you, once I finished laughing anyway. 😀

  3. Joe Says:

    aw, that’s emarassing. but funny, i can tell by you blogging it that you’re able to laugh at it.

    and you’ll probably never see those people again if you don’t shop there :-p

  4. Katherine Says:

    Thanks for the warm fuzzies! I love having a fan!!

    Laina, I appreciate that you would have stopped the Care Bear display after some laugther. That’s the sign of friendship (I think) 🙂

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