Reward for the return of my sanity (and my fuzzy red socks)

Due to the exorbitant cost to heat this place, the thermostat is set to “just above mind numbing.” Usually, I’m fine with that. Layers, a space heater, and a hearty scramble of mutt genes allow me to function despite blue fingers and lips. But today, it feels especially cold in here, so I went to put on my especially warm socks. These socks are the best things ever. My aunt and uncle gave them to me for Christmas and I wear them at least three times a week around the house. They are red, fuzzy, and unbelievably snuggly and warm. They are cold foot paradise. And I can’t find them. I’ve torn the house apart and even succumbed to doing laundry, in the off chance they were buried in the laundry mound. No red, extra warm socks to be found. *Panic* The only possibilities to explain the disappearance are:

1.) Bionic Kitty has hidden them in the undisclosed location she has stashed the 16 balls, 4 catnip mice, 2 feathers, and assorted “crinkle” toys she is stockpiling in case of a cat toy shortage. And she’s not talking despite bribery involving treats and lap time.

2.) The dryer is taunting me again and will give them back in two years, just like it did with my lucky socks. I’ve threatened to kick it unless it gives them back, but the dryer never gives up socks unless it is good and ready (and you don’t need them anymore).


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