A Lame Photographic Montage Of The Weekend

GETTING CULTURED ON FRIDAY NIGHT

Things I discovered:

1. Sangria is not a popular gum flavor. Which might explain why it was on sale at Soviet Safeway.
2. I hereby officially declare that I will put out for any date who takes me to Founding Fathers. 
3. Modern dance is very, um… Well, let’s just say it’s not ballet.

 

Moi, Lulu and McFly smiling pretty at Founding Fathers.

Go stand in the rain. I want a picture. You'll thank me when we're 80 and can remember this moment.

 A SATURDAY NIGHT VISIT TO WONDERLAND, CELEBRATING THE ANNIVERSARY OF McFLY’S BIRTH

Things I discovered:

1. Contrary to previous speculation, I am not the worst dancer in the Metro Area. It’s actually Brian.
2. Cab Number One: 22 minutes spent listening to the dispatcher’s detailed explanation of why Cab 84 is “a retard.” As evidence, he cited 84′s inability to locate building entrances, lack of proper radio responses and apparent preference for Pakistani country music. 
3. Cab Number Two: My second strangest cabbie experience. Ever. Included a drunk driver snacking on ho hos while making a three point turn into oncoming traffic. 
4. Cab Number Three: If somebody with a nose bleed asks to share a cab to NoVA, don’t do it. Trust me. It won’t end well.
5. I have developed a vodka immunity.
6. Delirium fixes that problem.

 

Yes, I got McFly the card crown. And I am overly proud of myself.

I've succumbed. Footless tights are my new pants.

The Great 2009 Grind Off. I lost.

Entertaining the Bathroom Line.

I even have culinary disasters in restaurants.

 MONDAY’S KICK BOOTY ROAD TRIP TO REHOBOTH

Things I discovered:

1. It’s not pronounced “Ray-booth.” 
2. A text recap… Me to Stella: It has come out in our road trip conversation that McFly sees me as an old lady with a collection of lawn ornaments. I am sort of insulted. Stella’s reply to Me: Hahahahahhahhaha. I TOTALLY see it. Me back to Stella: Fuck you. But McFly says holler. 
3. Rehobothers liberally interpret “ocean front views.” 
4. Waves are aggressive. 
5. McFly does not appreciate the genius of Bob Evans. My new goal in life is to rectify this.

 

Unintentional Detour Number One: the Pentagon. And seeing as we're still in NoVA, this does not bode well for the trip.

I'm screwed.

McFly: Which way do we go on US-9? Me: It doesn't say. McFly: Ummm. How about right? Me: Commence Unintentional Detour Number Jillion.

Race?

X-rated sandcastles.

Holler!

Grrr! Arrrrgh!

Stupid wave.

I wanted to bury her. This is what compromise looks like.

My Thinking Face.

I wanted to be the man, but I couldn't get his face to open. Thus, I express my feelings accordingly.

I feel like I'm in an episode of Gilmore Girls.

Bestiality.

I sometimes do strange things.

McFly and Me.